P.R.E.P. for Marriage...Yes, please!

Before we got engaged, Mr. Hess proposed a different kind of question to me...

"Do you want to do the P.R.E.P. for Marriage classes with me at church?"

Well what exactly does that mean? To break it down...
Preparing, Relationships, Engagements and People for Marriage

My first thought was, "Man, he must be asking me to marry him soon!" and my second thought was, "Well...WHY NOT?!" So, we went online and signed up right away for the 10-week class our church offers for seriously dating or engaged couples. 

CLICK HERE for more information about the course at First Baptist Orlando!

There are so many things to plan and do when you get engaged, so if you are in a serious relationship, why not start building your relationship before the proposal?  And if you already are engaged, it is SO important to develop a spiritual basis in your lives with real, practical applications you can use in your preparation for your marriage together.  To get your marriage license, you have to do "some" kind of pre-marital counseling, but after taking this course, I now realize that an hour session with a pastor right before you get married really won't do too much for you.  Enrolling in a class like this really makes you communicate with one another, understand each other, and talk about things you probably haven't even thought to ask each other about.  From this class, we have not only just grown stronger as a couple, but also individually.  I have had many "a-ha" moments in this class, thinking to myself..."wow, that really explains a lot," or "yup, we have definitely been there before." I can't even express how much I recommend a program like this if you are in a relationship or an engagement preparing for marriage!

Before you tie the knot, with or without pre-marital classes, you and your "buddy" (this term describes a boyfriend, fiance, or husband) need to discuss the following areas.  Don't be afraid to ask questions that make you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.  The more you ask, the more you talk about it, and the more you know and understand what the other's wants and needs are.

I could literally write a blog about each class we've attended so far, but here are the topics that will help you along the way:

1. Love Languages: What is your Love Language? What is your buddy's?  Take the Love Language Test. There are tons of different versions of this test, but here is an example of what it's like: http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp, or http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/. After you know this, what would be the most effective ways to show your buddy how you love them? 
2. Building a Biblical Foundation for Marriage: Building a relationship triangle between the Wife, Husband, and God. Ask yourself the following questions: What is your idea of a good marriage? What are some of the words that describe what a good marriage should be? Why get married?
3. The Role of the Husband: Man is the spiritual leader of the family. Talk about raising children - are we having children? How many? Talk about your Faith, how you will spend your Holidays and how you will handle Finances.
4. The Role of the Wife: Submission and bringing peace and unity to the family. Look and discuss how God created women to be.  Women are gifts.  What characteristics describe a Godly woman?  Trustworthy, creative, generous, works outside of the home, keeps the home running, physically strong, takes care of others, blesses her husband, honorable, wise, kind, to name a few.
5. Communication: Listening and Understanding. If you want to communicate with your spouse, just listen.  Focusing on what is being said rather than the way it's being said, the meaning rather than the words, and understanding rather than judgment.
6. The Art of Apology and Forgiveness: Conflict Happens.  Anger is the common response to conflict.  Don't dwell on anger, and don't go to bed angry.  Anger must be controlled.  Bitterness can lead to resentment.  Resolving conflict requires loving confrontation and forgiveness.
7. Trust, Love and Respect: Love & Respect Cycles. Discuss what not to joke about.  Pray together and also pray about how to talk to each other the right way.  Have a Dream - Respect His.
8. Finances: One of the most discussed and conflicts in a marriage! Counsel, Budget, Debt, Giving, Investing. TALK about it.
9. Preparing for Intimacy: Using your marriage to glorify God.  Creating oneness, without being ashamed.

Like I mentioned above, each and every one of these topics is important to talk about BEFORE you get married.  The purpose of a class geared towards this goal is not to see if the person you are with is THE ONE.  The purpose is to take your relationship the a level that is continuously growing.  I feel many blog posts coming on about things we've discussed in class...so get your pens and notepads ready! ;)

263 days and counting...

Until next time,
-Presh

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Since I now know I will be spending the rest of my Halloween's with Mr. Hess, I now also know that I will be dressing up and attending some kind of Halloween themed festivites every year from here on out! I love dressing up for Halloween, but never in my life have I met someone as competitive, or into Halloween as my fiance.

I learned a lot last night about his Halloween's from the past, and they include winning FREE trips & prizes up to $3,000! Before I met him, he and a buddy entered in literally dozens of costume contests all over the city, and would win prizes and grand prizes year after year.  Since he moved to Orlando, he has also been known for some great costumes including a caveman complete with an ice block, and an old lady who lost her puppy.  Now, this year - we literally went into our closets and found something we could use because we are on a budget for the wedding...but I think our costumes turned out pretttttttty good.  Don't ask me how or why we had both of these costumes already, in his cubicle at work no less...but that's where I found them in all of their glory...


Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders!
HALLOWEEN 2010

 All we had to spend was $20, and that was on a wig for the big guy.  I didn't think he would actually go for dressing up as a girl first of all, and second, a cheerleader...but to my surprise he got really into it! (Not in a weird way...just in a fun go big or go home way!)  We wore nametags and mine said "THAT NIGHT"...AKA THE DREAM....while his said "THE NEXT MORN"...AKA THE TRUTH! I thought it was pretty funny, so we rolled with it. We met our goal of saving money, and we even won "Funniest Costume" at our team Halloween Party! WHOO!

I have to say, I am super excited about how into costumes Mr. Hess is, and hopefully the prizes will keep coming from all of the money and hard work that has gone into them!  Here we are at the 2 past Halloween Parties:
  

Dr. Pepper (yes the peppers light up) & his HOT Nurse!
HALLOWEEN 2008

Ken & Barbie!
HALLOWEEN 2009

  

Ken & Barbie, complete with box!
HALLOWEEN 2009


Can't wait to see what we come up with when we have money to invest in costumes again! Here's hoping right? Most likely after the wedding we will start putting most of our Halloween budget into kids costumes! ;)

Hope your Halloween was filled with fun, costumes, and candy like mine was!

Until next time,
-Presh

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!



DCC in the House! *\o/*



HBSH - Our Official Logo!

So...I know it sounds kind of silly, but from the help of Mr. Hess's friend who is a graphic artist, we now have an official "logo" we will be using on anything we send out from here on out for the wedding! 

When we first started dating, we shortly realized that we have the SAME initials, just in different order...Hess is BSH and I am HBS. Put us together and there we are H and H, with just a little "BS" between us! (How clever, Mr. H)...

It's perfect! And, I can't wait to see it EVERYWHERE!

HOLY BRIDESMAIDS!

First comes the dress, then comes the...bridesmaids dresses?

We all know the story of my dress...now comes another exciting task of picking out a dress for my beautiful bridesmaids! Before we get to that, let me just say picking your bridal party is not as easy as it seems! Before we got engaged, and I'm talking probably YEARS ago - I knew exactly who I wanted to share my BIG DAY with right by my side.  I knew the girls I could depend on were ones I've grown up with, love like family, and share a special bond with.  Now the only problem I could think of was one...

How many girls SHOULD you have in your Bridal Party?

Me and C at her wedding!

So far, I have been in 4 weddings (...and counting), and the average Bridal Party I would say is about 6, including a Maid of Honor.  Now, my friend C had 8 beautiful bridesmaids AND 3 Jr. Bridesmaids, which makes that 11 total on her side alone. Being a part of that, I got to experience what a larger bridal party is like.  I remember thinking it was a bit large, but I knew she loved each and every one of us! I tried and tried for weeks after we got engaged to narrow my party down to 6, or even 7, or 8, but IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE!!! How do you cut your bridesmaid list?! These are the girls you love like your sisters, who have been there for you since before you even met your groom, through sleepovers, braces, bad hair days, and life changing events...so I have finally decided to have the lovely large number of 9 in my wedding.  Yup, 9!!!


Me and my sister, Matron-of-Honor!

After debating back and forth with my groom, parents, close friends, and family, I had a heart to heart with C, and she gave me the best advice I could have asked for.  When you're freaking out about the bridesmaid number in your wedding, just ask yourself the following questions:

• Who do I want by my side when I'm saying my wedding vows?
• Who do I want with me getting ready and in my pictures on the BIG DAY?
• Who would I NOT want to see sitting in the congregation when I'm at the altar, as opposed to right by my side??
• Who would I regret NOT asking, 10 years from now?

After answering all of these questions, I knew exactly what I was going to do.  Tell the big, happy, beautiful group of 9 bridesmaids! Without a doubt, there was no question in my mind that I wanted ALL of these girls right next to me on my BIG DAY.  Whether a wedding party of 9 girls, 9 guys, 1 bride and 1 groom looks like a wedding photo, or a mob...I don't care! It's MY day, and I want to share it with the ones I LOVE! :)

Me, Britty Bear, and Miss Mouse!

So, brides-to-be, I hope this tid-bit of advice helps you, as it did for me.  If you're trying your hardest to cut your number down to lower costs, get less people in your photos because you think it will look better, or are considering leaving out people who live out-of-state, ask yourself those questions.  One of my bridesmaids lives in NY, and not only that, she is currently touring around FL performing in the Rockettes! Now, you tell me how much time she has to help me plan my wedding?! Clearly, not much...but WHO CARES? That's my job, my mom's job, my groom's job, and my wedding coordinator's job! If someone living in another city or state is the deciding factor on whether you are going to ask them to be in your wedding or not, that's silly.

Me and LHG, one of my besties!

LHG is one of my best friends, and has even lived with me for years at a time back in the day.  I know I could call her at any time of any day, and she would be just that - a phone call away.  I know she will do whatever it takes to be a part of my special day...no matter what the cost or travel time involved.   

Me and Meg at her wedding!

 I feel so lucky to have these 9 girls by my side and close enough to call my true best friends throughout the years.  Each one of them has been my best friend at one point in my life or another, and I am so blessed to have remained just as close to every one in some cases, 23 years later!

I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!!!!!

KDO, HM, Hess, Me, and Ash!

As for the Bridal dress...

I had been searching online and in stores pretty much since the day I found MY dress! I knew it was going to be an important choice, as I know this is going to be THE dress next to MY dress in all of the photos! I finally compiled a few photos, and narrowed my pic down to 5 dresses.

My main goal in finding the perfect bridesmaid dress was for it to do the 2 following things: fit within a reasonable budget, and be a part of the girls' wardrobe as something they ACTUALLY will wear again! Now, I know it's cliche to say, but this was truly one of the biggest things for me.  Being in the bridesmaid's shoes before...I know that if I'm going to spend about $200 on a dress, I want it to be wearable again. 

After getting opinions from my MOH (Matron-of-Honor), my mom, and a few of the girls, we finally decided on THE ONE! Keeping with tradition, I am not going to post a picture of it on here until after the wedding, but I can tell you it's absolutely adorable.  So cute, I am actually jealous I can't get one! ;)

When picking a bridesmaid dress, you can definitely get overwhelmed quickly.

Try the following tips, which proved to work out for me in the end:

• Does the dress you want your girls to wear compliment YOUR dress? (fabric, style, color scheme, pattern(s)? Remember, they will be next to you the entire day!
• Is the price of your dress reasonable? Keep in mind, not only are your bridesmaids going to pick up the cost of their dress, they still need to pay to get it altered, find shoes if you haven't picked some out for them, and also will be contributing to numerous events and celebrations along the way!
• Would YOU wear this dress again? Really...Would you?!

Luckily, my bridal party dress fits all of the above, and I can't wait to see the girls in it!  Thanks, ladies for ordering it and making it officially on the way to the Bridal Shop!

Only 265 days left!
Until next time...

-Presh